The Rape of Coney

As we heard yesterday, 9 of the 11 businesses on the Coney Island boardwalk have been given the boot. As Tricia at Amusing the Zillion put it, "It’s like a mass wake on the Coney Island Boardwalk at the moment. The funeral will be this weekend… It’s goodbye Ruby’s, Cha Cha’s, Paul’s Daughter, Grill House, Gyro Corner, Shoot the Freak, Beer Island, Pio Pio Riko and Coney Island Souvenir Shop."

What's to come? Upscale restaurants and middle-brow chains, the Xeroxed world we're all subjected to, inured to, numbed to--and powerless to stop. Between Thor's demolitions and Zamperla's evictions, Coney Island is going to look like a massive car-wreck victim after multiple plastic surgeries. We won't recognize her.

Here's some of what you won't see next season:





Said Ruby's co-owner to the Daily News: "It's really saying, 'To hell with Coney Island the way it is and the way it was. We want to create a brand new, clean Coney Island for upscale people only.'"

News sources say the future of the boardwalk likely includes Brooklyn Brewery*, Shake Shack, and Atomic Wings. What might that look like? Well, it's going to look just like everywhere else:



*Correction: News sources admit mistake--Brooklyn Brewery will not be going to Coney, they ask you please not to boycott them.

Oh yeah, and the lovely wooden boardwalk itself? It'll be made of faux-wood concrete.

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